Are you kidding me?

I don't usually post shit like this (lie) but I thought it was pretty insane.

A few posts ago...

I trumpeted that one of the only things better than 24-Hour Art Making was Popeye's chicken. Turns out the company recently had a fiasco. My friend Patrick told me people were threatening to kill employees of the Lake Street Popeye's when they decided not to honor a nationally advertised 8 piece for $4.99 special. All across the country (and various local news stations) outrage was heard.

I'm telling you... totally deserved. Popeye's is in fact the greatest.

Lake St, MN


Lake Ave, NY


Conspiracy theory: Popeye's must be on a street named Lake.

Paint, write, paint, write, paint, write, internet, paint & write.

I have been painting tonight for far too long, but I got everything done I needed to, so it's time to catch some shut eye. It's already Wednesday. These weeks are peeling away so quickly now, and all of the deadlines and time frames are being whittled down to due-dates and project presentations. And so I paint and write until my eyes blur too much to see.

I wish I had television, because it could keep me awake while I painted. But, alas, the cable's been gone for two months. In fact, I can't really understand why anyone would pay for cable anymore, since you can watch any video or television show on line for free. Sorry HBO. Sorry CNN. Sorry C-Span. The only thing I really miss is "The Office," and "Breaking Bad." But like I said, if I just ait a day after they air I can catch them elsewhere.

Things I want to blog about but don't have time for:

-Quick & the dead crazy night

-Talkbox

-RISD

-Moving

-Finding a job.

So goodnight moon, goodnight room, goodnight college student with bags under his eyes but happiness buried beneath the blurred vision.

Once these next three weeks are done I will return to a normal version of me.

Ian Talty Tribute

Minneapolis writer Solo's tribute to Ian Talty at the sewer drain. Rest in peace. Everybody misses you.

Rest In Peace Ian Talty

Today was a day of mixed emotions. I got into RISD early this morning, and am very excited by that.

However this is overshadowed by the death of a great man, Ian Talty. Although I did not ever have the chance to meet Ian, I knew him as his alias "Joy of the Mundane," whose photography has been a part of my daily life for almost a year, and who I got to talk to through emails and messages every once in a while. He was able to capture beauty in things that most people ignore, and was a big fan of urban exploration. He was a passionate photographer and whenever I chatted with him was the most gracious and humble human being you could meet.

He died yesterday while exploring the sewer tunnels when a sudden thunderstorm swept him into the Mississppi river. He was only 30 years old. This hit especially hard since I have often visited those tunnels, and quite a few of my friends have as well. Ian will be missed by everyone he knew, and by people like me, who were only briefly acquainted with him through his artwork and quick messages. Here's a story with more info.

Be safe everyone.

R.I.P. Ian

"I'm her mom"

"No she's not!"


Thanks goes to Brennan Starkovich for this one. I had to watch it a few times to et the full impact.

Broke Ass

I unnecessarily hopped a fence a couple of days ago and fell on my ass. Don't drink and hop. Now I have a bruised tailbone, which is painful, and hilarious.

Anyway, that's not what I'm going to talk about.

I just listened to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me..." which is a radio show on NPR. It's great. It reminded me that about three or four months ago I planned on writing about podcasts to subscribe to. Here are my picks:

1. NPR - The Story
I really like hearing people's stories. Creative non-fiction you might call it. Well, there is a guy on Chapel Hill by the name of Dick Gordon who interviews people about their interesting stories. Awesome blog. Find it at thestory.org from American Public Media.

2. Learn Jazz Piano with Paul Abrahams- There was a time when I tried to learn jazz piano. I was completely unsuccessful. I did however find this podcast which is good to put on in the background while doing daily tasks. Search for it in iTunes.

3. The Splendid Table: As a college student my diet is terrible, and therefore hearing about awesome food is the best outlet I have, plus there is an interesting segment where people call in with random ingredients and the host comes up with a recipe. I think I might be able to stump her with "An onion, three tortillas, pixie sticks and coffee," which is the food I have to work with. I have to be honest I'm glad it's radio and not TV because she kind of freaks me out.

4. Musicheads with Bill DeVille: We are really fortunate in Minneapolis to have one of the best public radio music stations, The Current. Great music, great DJ's, and great programming like "Musicheads," which offers interesting discussion on new releases. Great way to find out about new music.

5. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me: This description will sound boring, but the show is hilarious. Basically a news-themed quiz show with Carl Kasell. Really, check it out.

Ok, I'm going to put on 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me' for six hours while I do homework.

Why am I still here?

I found this about 40 minutes ago, and it caused me to stay at work for half an hour longer than I needed to.

At first, I said "This guy is a creep, and hilarious." For people who know me well, I think that this might be what I'll be like when I grow up. But, then, as I continued to watch almost ten other videos this guy made, I realized he is a genuinely funny but thoughtful character (he also played a duet with Cloris Leachman in one of his videos).

If you're into the ruminations of an old man, watch the catalog.

I've got to sleep...

... But before I do... Word travels fast. Here's all the places my interview has been reposted since Wednesday morning:

Known Gallery
Senses Lost
Pure Graffiti
Bunny Kitty

Not too bad for a day.

If you haven't checked it out yet you should.

Ewok Interview.

I have finished my homework...

Just in time to hop in the shower and go to class. Great.

While I did my homework I took a short Youtube Junkie break and watched this. But by watched I really mean listened to this. It will absolutely give you the feeling that you are in these environments:

Put on headphones (really, it's necessary).
Hit play.

Crazy.

Update

Remember when I said, "Don't underestimate a pot'o'corn as a dinner option," two posts down?

Well do. Do underestimate it. Because it is indeed a terrible idea.

The Lab

I just moved all of my music equipment from my basement to my dining room. It really has motivated me to make more music. However, this has motivated me to do less homework. Here's what the set-up looks like right now:





If you are interested in making music, holla at'cha boy.

Overheard on the bus, Volume 4.

Moments of wisdom from the Politically Correct:

College Girl 1: I was playing board games with my brother last night
College Girl 2: Oh, he's so cute.
CG1: Yeah, but he' always cheating, so I have to call him out on it.
CG2: Oh, little kids always cheat, but they think they can get away with it.
CG1: Yeah, we were playing 'Guess Who?' and he kept looking at mine. I said "Ryan, I think you're cheating," and he started yelling "I'm not a CHEATER! I'm not a CHEATER!!" I was like, "If you can't handle being called a cheater Ryan, you should stop cheating."
CG2: They really need to make an updated version of 'Guess Who?' I mean, everyone is like a white male or a white woman with blonde hair. We have a black President!
CG1: Yeah... Although, that would make the game a lot easier. It would be like, "Is it an asian? Yeah? It's Xiong."
CG2: Yeah, I guess you're right. 'Guess Who' is a game that actually wouldn't benefit from ethnic diversity.

I almost died listening to this.
Then, I searched 'Guess Who?' to try and show everyone an example of the board, and this incredibly appropriate example was the first result.

Guess Who
Uploaded by kirstenlepore

I need to find a sculptor

I am currently enrolled in sculpture at my school, and we are on our final projects. For these we must find a sculptor that inspires us to do something interesting. Here are my candidates so far:

Theo Jansen



David Ellis



Joshua Allen Harris



If you can tell I'm into kinetic sculpture, but also very interested in the combination of sculpture and sound. I think that it is something I would like to explore. No matter what I choose to do I think it will probably be fairly dificult, so maybe I should take a step back and realize it's finals season and now might not be the best time to undertake a huge project. Hey, whatever happened to my radioactive plant sculpture? I have to find it...

Also, under-rated dinner option:
Pot-o-corn

That is all.

Overheard today on the bus, Issue 3

Today, on my way to school, I heard by far the sickest shit I've ever heard on the bus. It was a one sided phone conversation.

Man with lisp: Hey, how's it going?
...
MWL: Oh, you know what, you're probably right!
...
MWL: Yeah, I was in such a rush last night, I probably left the smaller ones in my dresser drawer. Yeah, the case I left you probably didn't have the smaller ones in it.
...
MWL: Well, yeah, it's cause I don't usually use them anymore. Sorry.
...
MWL: You know, there's that double-sided one, and one end is smaller. Just use that. The smaller side will fit in, and the bigger one won't.
...
MWL: No really, just put the small end in.
...
MWL: No they don't! What do you mean they're stinky.
...
MWL: I washed them. Oh, SHUT UP!
...
MWL: I'll bring the smaller ones over tonight, we can use them together.


Really dude? You're not being that covert. I mean, I don't necessarily want to hear about what I can only imagine to have been a conversation about one specific thing. And these things aren't something you should be swapping with your friends.

In the news

Two things:
I just finished an ill interview with Ewok HM MSK AWR 7th Letter, which is available in full at TEENS.WALKERART.ORG


Also, my premonition yesterday accomplished my goal, and I just won a free VICE magazine subscription. No, not as awesome as $1000, but at least it's something.

Only thing is, I'll probably move before I get the first issue, and then I won't reap the benefits.

Oh well.

Check out the Ewok interview, I worked hard on it.

Vice Update

If you've been reading my blog for a little while (read: 4 people [thanks Google Analytics]), then you may have remembered my desperate attempt at scoring some loot through the VICE Blank Issue contest. After it was over, I thought, "Hey, my issue was voted pretty high up, I bet I have a decent chance at winning this."

Then the first month rolled by, and no response. I Googled "Vice Magazine Blank Issue Winner" but with no such luck.
Then the second month rolled by. Apparently, I wasn't the only one that noticed that no one had won, and so the murmur was that is was an elaborate VICE hoax. I thought to myself, "That's pretty funny, although I'd like 1000 dollars."

Well, today, on a whim, I Googled it again. This is what I got: VICEBLOG

Looks like they're just as busy as I am, which is good news. Hopefully I'll be getting my check in the mail soon, right guys?

Haha.

Now, this blog post requires a little bit of user interaction.
Hit play on the Youtube video. Then close your eyes, wait ten seconds, then scroll down. It's these sort of intricate and convoluted scenarios that make the world fun.


I'm just a bachelor
Lookin' for a partner
Someone who knows how to ride
Without even fallin' off

Timbaland broke onto the scene with Genuwine on this classic 90's bump&grind song, "My Pony." Not only did it forever introduce us to a bass line that sounds like someone burping and Timbaland's super-gated hi-hats, but it also guaranteed that everyone who put this into the tape deck/ cd player/ ipod will be getting a piece of the action.

So go on girl.
Turn down the lights.
Light a few candles.
Slip into that little number, cause I have mine on already.
Ooh, what's this?
A platter full of chocolate strawberries?
I've got the champagne girrrrl.
Let's make this happen:



***
I was originally going to use Biggie Small's "F*ckin you tonight" for this post, but it isn't on Youtube.

Well Done

Daft Punk: Video Game

The long awaited Daft Punk video game.

Thanks 'I Party Alone,' which is a fucking surreal blog experience.
I'm going to bed.

I just finished that paper I was talking about

I think I've done more homework in the last two days than I have done in my entire college career.
1. I built a sculpture from start to finish. It is a crow's head that I wear on my head made out of 100 sheet metal feathers and wire.
2. I wrote four beginnings to short stories and then completed one. The rest are awful.
3. I wrote a research paper.
4. I created a presentation on Camille Corot.
5. I made a breakfast of toast, bacon and omelette at 1:00am last night to keep me going.
6. More crows


7. Have I mentioned I have an infatuation with black birds?

Now I'm about to start a painting, and hopefully finish it by 8:30 am.

I am really glad there are only three weeks of school left, I can't really fathom keeping up this schedule. Oh, I also forgot that I cleaned my house, did all my dishes, and washed all of my clothes. Caught up on this entire season of Breaking Bad...

Oh, yeah, I forgot. I finally got my stuff back from the courthouse after seven months. I cannot even begin to describe to you what dirty clothes smells like after seven months in a sealed plastic bag. But this means I have my old/new phone back, which means that my 1998 model will once again be retired.

One last thing, we're planning a super ill event at the Walker involving Burlesque Design, Hardland Heartland (or the other way around), Scott Stulen, Liz Miller, John Grider & Eric Inkala (and a surprise guest), Kristina Mooney, Chris Pennington and another group of artists that is slipping my mind right now... so on and so forth. 24 hour art-making cave. I will be there at least 30 hours straight. Oh, and it ends with a party. Oh, and it's offsite at the Art Crawl, which means you can probably booze it up (no, not really [I didn't tell you you could].). MAY 15h-16th. Anyway, reserve that spot and stuff, cause really, I'm excited, and you should be too. What's better than making art, insomnia, and parties?

Nothing. Absolutely not one thing. Period.*

...



*Things that are better:
Popeye's chicken, a decent night's sleep, drunk sledding, good music.

Early Christmas

Today I went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts to do research for a paper that I just started writing but now have been sidetracked because I have to share this first.

I walked in, checked my backpack into the coat check and went in the restroom. And as soon as I walked in, I was flashed, by a very large old man in a Twins jersey who looked like Santa Claus.

What is the appropriate response in this situation? Is it to laugh, go to the urinal, wash your hands and leave? Because that's what I did. The most awkward part of the whole experience was that he didn't flash me then leave. He flashed me, washed his hands, dried them, went into the stall, then came out and stared at the mirror.

My boss just called me and wants me to present with him at a big arts education convention on Friday. Can I retroactively update my resume on things I already applied for?

Jose Parla: Too ill.

Superstar writer Ease might by one of my favorite painters ever, and I was lucky enough to find in my quest for inspiration (not painting but creative writing) that Upper Playground posted his interview on WalrusTV.


If you don't dig his paintings, something might be wrong with you, but you'll probably still dig his pieces. Big inspiration for me.


Check him out at his website. JOSEPARLA.COM SO MUCH MIAMI FUNK YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR THE BOOTY-BASS.

Everything that is connected and beautiful...

A new Silversun Pickups album comes out in two days. Although I have no money I might have to figure out how to get a copy. Their last album was a surprise hit for my 2006-2007 year, and I would recommend it highly to anyone. I was really hyped to find out about the new album. I took a lot of 3am-6am bike rides to a soundtrack of their albums Pikul and Carnavas. In fact, I will give you a brief list of what might have been a night's bike ride two years ago:

1.Rick James- Cold Blooded
2.Janis Joplin- Piece of my Heart
3.Al Green- Let's Stay Together
4.Noisettes- Sister Rosette
5.Atmosphere- Sunshine
6.Bat For Lashes- Mother Sea
7.Grizzly Bear- Knife
8.TV on The Radio- Ambulance
9.K-OS - Sunday Morning
10.Eazy-E - Ain't Said Shit
11.Prince- Kiss
12.Keak da Sneak, E-40, The Federation- Hyphy Remix

Well, that's a taste. But I remember those specifically. "H-Y-P I'm HYPHY, MAANNN." I really want to go for a bike ride now. But I need to get a new tube for my tire because I demolished it. Well, it's probably good since I need to finish my homework right now...

Also, I finally switched to Firefox, because I got a fuckin' bitch of a virus which would redirect my Google searches to a different site. It rendered my internet explorer useless.

Um... I'm going to go eat a peanut butter sandwich with a glass of milk.

And it goes a little something like this...
DMC and DJ Run,
dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy diddy dum dum...

If you hear any noise, it's just me and the boys

I can't find a place to stream the P-Funk version, but the cut from Kool and the Gang is a good reproduction.



Probably one of my favorite breakdowns ever, the snippet "If you hear any noise, it's not me and the boys, it's ladies night." That shit is so funky. Luckily, I'm not the only one that realized the potential. It definitely makes me smile every time I hear it.

Happy Easter

Do you think Jesus approves?

I'm not crazy

Well, not about this anyway. If you're out of my loop you may have missed me pondering the question "Whatever happened to Jordy?" No, not Jordi, but Jordy. I grew up listening to one of his tapes over and over, which I remember my dad gave me. Classic late eighties freestyle music, which is pretty terrible. I also got a Coco-Puffs mixtape at the Zoo Boo at Como park which had covers of popular songs as well as this classic.

But here's Jordy. How fucked up is it that this kid got a record deal at 3 years old and I can't get shit.



Also, what's the story line in this video? Does anyone speak French?

PS:

Overheard in court today, made me laugh:

"Sir, your charge will be dismissed, under the condition that you do not get drunk and take off your pants on the bus again. No one wants to see that."

"Oh, is this the case about the girlfriend and the pee? Yeah, that's dismissed."

I just resolved my legal troubles

One long day in a courthouse later, and I am free from the arm of the law. I celebrated by eating at Quang's and then taking a 6 hour nap.

I now am awake, and in an attempt to fall asleep watched "Bottle Shock" which I thought was going to be a documentary and turned out to be a feature film based on a true story. Now I wish I had a glass (or bottle) of Atteca, my favorite wine so far, to make me fall asleep. If you ever get the chance, drink some Atteca and eat some beef. If you saw my earlier post, you can follow that up with a hot shower and cold beer. Then you will open your eyes and realize you are in heaven.

It'sa mee, Mario

I spent the evening plumbing. It was sick. And I mean that in a good way, not in a "I have a disease" way.

Then I came home, and took a hot shower. While in this hot shower I drank an ice cold beer. I decided this will be my new hobby, as it may have ben the most awesome thing I have ever done in my life. No joke. No fucking joke.

Thought everyone should know, because you should try it too, and we'll finally have world peace.

How to Poop

More conversations from the bus

I just had a good/bad experience. Good in the sense that I got to interview an artist I think is dope, bad in the sense that my computer overdosed on funk and died, effectively erasing the interview.

But hopefully it will be salvaged. In the meantime, here's a few more snippets from bus conversations:

Old lady: "You two have been such gentlemen to me."
Man #1: "I ain't no gentleman. A gentleman's a homosexual. I ain't NO FAG!"
Man #2: "Nah, I ain't with him on that. Thanks"
Man #1: "NAh man, I ain't a gentleman, I ain't a homosexual. LOOK IT UP MAN! LOOK IT UP!"
Old lady: "You can just say thank you and move out of the way of the door so we can keep moving."
Man #2: "He's crazy, I'm not with him on this. I'll be a gentleman."
Man #1: "You a homosexual?"
Man #2: "Nah man."
Man #1: "Gentleman means HOMOSEXUAL. Look it it. It derives from the word gentile."
At this point, most people in front of the bus are laughing.
Man #1: "They're laughing at you, HOMOsexual!"
Old Lady: "PLease get out of the way, whether you're a gentleman or not."

I laughed for quite a while about this one. For those of you who are curious about whether or not 'Gentleman' derives from "Gentile" and whether it means homosexual... This might provide some answers.

Late Arrival

This shit is classic. I may be a year late but it's still worth the watch:

What the fuck

The envy of bulemics around the globe.

You mad doggie!

News from blog land:

MN weather sucks.
I made Jambalaya.
I got peppersauce in my eye.
I painted 3 paintings today, one of which is terrible.
I signed up for Twitter.
I came to realize that Twitter is of no use to me when my phone was made in 1999.
Three more zombie movies arrived:
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
Army of Darkness
Dead Alive
I miss class because of a power outage.
I watched this:


And I got into the Pratt Institute, which is an art school which I applied to. Best email I have received since that free viagra trial, but not as good as the million dollars I'm about to get once my check goes through to the Prime Minister of Ezahkstan.

Anyway, off to Twitter that I'm going to bed.