Overheard: Lawyers at lunch

Lawyer 1: So, yeah you guys, i won a trial this week.

Rest of lawyers feigning interest: Oh, yeah. Good job.

L1: Yeah, it wasn't so hard, it basically was handed to me.

L2: What do you mean?

L1: Well, so, my client was being charged with this drug charge, and the prosecutor had a proffer that wasn't anything better than the charge. So my client asks the prosecutor, "Wait, is probation and a felony charge a better offer than a felony charge and STS?" And the prosecutor starts saying, "Well, it's my opinion that." And he just cuts her off, he goes, "Don't answer. it was a rhetorical question. No it's not. I'm not taking this plea." And we all know that this type of charge has never been successfully prosecuted.

L2: Well why didn't she file to dismiss?

L1: That's the best part. So we're in front of the judge, and she goes, "Well, to be honest I don't have any evidence to convict this man of the crime, and I don't feel like it will lead to a conviction." And the judge asks, "Well, why don't you just move to dismiss?" And she says, "Because I want to have a job in the morning." Apparently the city prosecutor will fire any lawyer who dismisses a drug charge no matter what the circumstances because when election time comes around it looks bad if the city isn't hard on drugs. So I say, why don't we just try this thing now.

L3: No shit.

L1: So she says, "Well, I don't have an opening statement or closing, I wasn't prepared to go to trial today." And I say, "Well I'm not prepared at all either." So I pull my client into the hall and say, "Look, I don't have any opening statement and I'm not at all ready to go to trial. But there's no better opening statement than the prosecutor saying she doesn't have any evidence and can't convict you, so I figure we better take this freebie."