"You've got some beautiful wood"

I've been meaning to post about this for a while, but of course I've been distracted.

In the same vein as OverheardinNY or something similar, I have heard ridiculous things on the bus going to work and school over the past week. Here are a few examples:

Guy in funny hat to guy next to me: "You've got some beautiful wood." (This morning, the man sitting next to me was carrying planks of wood).


Old man to young man: "You don't know a muthafucking thing about the Native Americans"
Young man #1: "I'm doing my graduate thesis on displaced people and chemistry..."
Old woman, interjecting: "It's what they say, you can't trust everything you read."
Old man: "That's right. You white people killed ous brothers. YOU (directed at young man) killed MY ancestors!"
Old woman: "Mmmm hmmm. And I got it the worst of all. I'm black and native. You ever see that one movie, you know, about prohibition."
Young man #1: "Um... no, what."
Old woman: "You know, that guy... Sir... Sir.... Sir something. And that water world guy?"
Young man #1: "I'm not very good at remembering. I'm trying to quit smoking."
Old woman: "My son is 37 years old, and he never smoked in his life. If you had good parents you wouldn't be smoking."
Young man #1: "No, my parents smoked. I'm actually a recovering alcoholic."
Old woman: "You real mixed up in bad things. SEAN CONNERY! That's it, Sir Sean Connery."
Old man: "James Bond!"
Old woman: "You remember now? It's coming back to you now?"
Young man #1: "I don't think I've seen this movie."
Old woman: "You've seen it. Waterworld, who's that guy."
Young man #2, from back of the bus: "Kevin Bacon."
Young man #1: "No, Kevin Costner."
Old Woman: "Yeah, Kevin Costner. You remember now."
Young man #1: "No, you know. My memory is bad. You're also talking to a guy who had chemotherapy."
Old man: "Shut the fuck up."
Young woman, who has been rolling her eyes for fifteen minutes: "Will you all SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
At this point I got off the bus, but not before I heard a half bus shouting match that circled back to Native American history, with someone saying the word "Injuns."

Anyway, thought I'd share.