The Great Pumpkin

Halloween is my favorite holiday. There is something about being able to scare little children without repercussions that makes me feel so good. If you were to look at my slew of homemade costumes and Halloween decorations you might think that I owned my own special effects shop. I don't, I'm just an overly enthusiastic creep. But that is why we celebrate Halloween, so all the people like me can get it out of their system and hopefully don't start dressing like celebrities and offering children candy on a regular basis.



But let's slow down. I guess the reason that I love Halloween so much is because it is the only holiday that begs for you to be creative, and just have fun. I mean, come on! The only requirement for Halloween is that you pretend to be someone else and everyone has to give you candy! In most cases, this is impersonation and robbery. Both felonies.

Another time honored tradition of Halloween that I enjoy is pumpkin carving. Everyone around the world gets to indulge their inner sculptor, and the designs range from the classic two triangle eyes and a mouth, to the extraordinary. My first year of college I threw a pumpkin carving party in my dorm room, which was fun until the RA's knocked on the door for noise disturbance, and promptly found the cats my roommate was illegally housing in my room.

What I want to say is use this holiday to the best of your abilities! Create your own costume, throw a party with over the top decorations, bite someone, and just say that you are a zombie.

TIPS FOR CREATING YOUR OWN AWESOME COSTUME:

1.Pick a local hero
Think Prince or Morris Day. Apollonia is a stretch.
2. Pick a funny concept
I remember Christi once told me her friend came to a party with a bunch of Barbies pinned to him. He was a "Babe Magnet." Another one that's good is a horse with a noose around it's neck...
3. Commit to it
Don't just buy a wig, plan ahead, grow your hair long, and a week before Halloween go get it made into a Jon Bon Jovi 80's feathered bonanza.
4. Practice makes perfect
Yeah, everyone will think you look good as Michael Jackson, but blow them out of the water by talking in a high pitched voice and memorizing all the choreography to Billie Jean.
5. Don't be a whorish version of a cartoon character/respectable profession
If you are, please don't complain that you can't find any nice guys at the party. You'll get much more positive attention for something funny or clever.