Clapping

What the fuck.

Yesterday I had a lucid moment. I was sitting in painting, doing a group critique for finals, and after each person presented we'd break out into clapping. Mid-way through the very last applause it struck me: What the fuck am I doing? I stared down at my hands, and stopped.

"I really enjoyed the compositional elements of your painting, as well as your bold use of color. Let me show you my appreciation by beating my hands together to make noise, as this is the most appropriate gesture I can think to make."

Really, this sent me on a head trip. I know why we clap, or rather why we continue to clap and applaud: It's a social gesture. Whenever you hear clapping you think of praise. I understand this. It is similar to other social gestures, which we pick up as small children and then cease to question afterward. I get it. It's ingrained that when I like something, I should make meat-slapping noise. Ok.

But as I snapped out of it, and stared at my hands, I felt weird. Who started this trend? Why is this what we do? When I stopped clapping, I got stares from those around me.

"Look at this outcast," they thought, "Doesn't he know we need his claps?"

Today I was in Creative Writing, and, seeing as it was the last class, we all shared segments of our writing. I had forgotten about my recent aversion to clapping until it came time to clap... I felt like a liar. Now, instead of enjoying the clap, I just stare at my hands, confused...

There is one place I can understand the benefit of clapping: Music. If I need to keep a beat it is very easy to clap. It's a great snare drum replacement. Foot stop. Clap. Foot stop. Clap. Simple and effective.

So I came home, and I started doing research:
"The custom of applauding may be as old and as widespread as humanity, and the variety of its forms is limited only by the capacity for devising means of making a noise (i.e., stomping of feet or rapping of fists or hands on a table). Within each culture, however, it is usually subject to conventions."

Thanks for nothing wikipedia. Now you just confirmed that no one really knows why we clap. Well, fine. I am personally taking a no clap stance for now. Instead I plan to do the "Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!," from mariachi songs. That's way more expressive and funny to me.

Here's some good claps:
Sarcastic clap (pretty poor quality)
The Clapper

And here's the best example of bad claps:
Cocky Clapper
The Clap

In closing: Clapping is ridiculous.