Comcast

I just called Comcast to disconnect my cable service because in the last month the price of cable went up $40, which is bullshit. However, my call was hilarious. After my initial automated number selection hone maze journey was complete I was transferred to an operator. I explained that I just noticed the large increase in cable and therefore would like to have my service disconnected, because I don't play that shit.

She said, "Ok, I'll transfer you to disconnection so they can fill out your forms."

Then the fun started. I was transferred to the wrong line, and somehow got patched in to the other side of the phone grid, to the instructions being coached to the Comcast employees. Apparently Comcast calls their disconnection department "Retention." Interesting. Why would you call something disconnection the opposite of what you're supposed to be doing.

"All retention specialists are busy. When you talk to your next customer, press your out line 1 in order to sell new or retain services."

Oh, ok, so now I know what tactics they're going to use on me... this isn't about disconnecting service after all.

Great, now I know that when I do reach an actual person they are not going to make it easy to schedule a disconnection... Awesome.

At this point, I heard someone mutter "Oh, shit." A beep, then a click, and I was kicked off the phone.

Comcast, I know what's going on now. Haha.